Saturday, September 18, 2010

Getting over it, sort of.

I'm doing better in terms of the house issue. I have had days where I seriously felt like I couldn't cope another second, and then other days where I work at trying to just get over it and make do here. It's been soooo hard to do that. One of my biggest mental issues with making due is that I feel like my efforts will be wasted, (as will any $ i spend) on this place if we end up choosing to move on in the near future. It's tough. We are trying really hard to take our financial responsibilities seriously, even more so than in the past, so by investing more $ into this place knowing I won't stay here forever, really doesn't feel great.

I keep telling myself there is a reason I can't see right now and in the end I'll be thankful that it didn't work out *my* way. Thats always the way God seems to work it.

Anyway, for now I am spending a lot of time cleaning things out, and buying organizational items to help make the flow around here a little bit earlier. One thing I'm dreading though is Christmas around here. We do NOT have the room for any more toys. What little we do have really are a total nuisance and always in the way. So as not to dwell on how deeply this sucks, I'll suffice to say that the holidays for that reason alone will be a challenge. I've always been really good about purging before any major holiday, I'm not a clutter/junk person, but in this sitch, its getting ridiculously difficult to really keep it simple.

I wish there were easy answers here. And I wish we knew what direction to head in. For now, at least till spring...we stay. The only relief I have in that is I hate moving lol, so the bright side is I get to put that off for a little while at least.

Friday, September 3, 2010

devestated is a current understatement.

I'll make this short and sweet, #1 because I don't want to dwell, and #2 because its super late and I have a run to get to early in the morning.

Today while house hunting for the umpteenth time, we ironically got a phone call from our finance guy. The news was not so good.

Apparently this bank (same bank that holds our current mortgage) that said they would finance us with our VA status, says now they still will *consider* it but they've changed the rules on us, so much so that it will be nearly impossible to meet the demands, especially right now.

I would go into details, but does it really matter? The point is, it's officially over. Well, I should say BUYING another house is over. (i'm still moving come hell or high water).

It's so hard for me to even blog about this because I seriously cannot do anything but sit here and think of people being thankful this is happening....

Please spare me the *praise the lord* lines, seriously....oh and the *maybe you are meant to stay where you are* BS as well. I don't f'ing think so, and if YOU lived here in this tiny freaking house, You'd get it. But you don't......so there it is. LUCKY YOU.

I'm super super angry, at the whole situation. Honestly I'm to the point where I no longer give a crap what happens either. We are currently weighing options, several of which involve possibly handing this house right back to the stupid bank,...the same one that just jacked us around, and the same one who was willing to loan us $200K for a new house, but not $70K for an addition to stay here, and add a freaking bathroom/bedroom onto this house.

There are no words left at this point.

Our trip to Hocking Hills ~ summer 2010

After a very long season, we have finally found the time to go on a vacation, alone minus kids. Normally I like taking my kids on adventures, and truthfully it was really hard to leave, but in the end we were desperate for some time away.

By Saturday evening the kids had all been delivered to MIL and SIL's, and we headed home to hang out with friends for an hour or so, finish packing and get to bed to get ready for the trip. I slept a whopping 4.5 hours that night lol, I was excited to say the least.

Sunday morning we got up, finished packing and headed out around 9am to get gas, car wash and grab breakfast. We stopped at Denny's on th way out of town and saw our friends Jeff and Cassie (surprise!! lol). After that we headed south, and 4 hours later we arrived in Logan OH to find some very twisty country roads.

Our cabin was down off of one that was way off the beaten path, and the driveway alone was practically hidden and very steep. As a matter of fact we were so far out that we had no cell service, it was truly a *get away* in the very sense of the word.

This is where we stayed... (Ashby Cabins are quiet, cozy and very private).







(notice the indoor hot tub off the bedroom, this was some serious relaxation people!! lol).



We arrived at the cabin around 3pm, check in was not supposed to be until 4, but we decided to check it out anyway, thankfully it was all ready for us early so we went in to scope it out, then started unpacking right away. The cabin itself had everything we needed,...a fully stocked kitchen (cooking wise, we had to bring our own food and spices), a huge bathroom with shower/xl tub, towels etc, a LR with TV, dining area, and a master bedroom suite with another TV , closet and a room off that with the indoor hottub. One of the nice things was everything was labeled so it was easy to navigate everything. There was also this really cool guest book that all the previous guests in the last 2 years had signed. They had also started a game called the dollar game, in the cabin there were 3 dollar bills hidden and the book listed clues to where to find them written by the previous guests. We found #1 right away, and after about half an hour we found what we thought was #3...turned out after searching for #2 for over a day that we actually had found #2 according to the clues, once I realized this I found the actual #3 monday afternoon lol (my brain never really stopped trying to figure it out, my OCD was on a rampage rofl!).

Monday night after we unpacked and had checked things out a bit we headed out and got pizza and ice cream, 2 things I haven't eaten in weeks, omgosh it was good lol.

We came back watched some TV and went to bed. It was a king size bed, it was SUPER soft, I slept like a baby I'm not kidding. I woke up at 7am ready to get my day going LOL. Dean wasn't thrilled, but he got up too (I can't help it, I'm a very motivated person, especially when and where hiking is involved). We had our breakfast there and headed out to the first day of sight seeing and trail blazing.

First stop was Old Man's cave. Mainly because it was the closest to where we stayed (less than 10 minute drive, very close!!). At first we wore pants thinking the trails might be covered with brush, thankfully after we did the cave we headed back up and changed into shorts we had brought with us as it was nearing 85* already at 10am. Old Man's cave was really cool. The twists and turns of the rocks, the formations made by wind and water for centuries really made this place something special to witness. Sadly throughout this part of the state forest and other parts there were many places where visitors and tourists had carved their names into trees, rocks and fallen wood. While I appreciate others wanting to be a part of history, it really detracted from the natural beauty of it all. I really don't care that Joe was there on April 12th of 1998, thats nice but I don't want to see it Joe, how rude of you.

Onto the pics, here is the start of the cave...




shots of what it looks like heading down in...







the path we came down, and one of only a couple of actual cave holes you can travel through...






Trails,ridges and bridges of the cave:





more random pics...one is of the sphinx head at the bottom of the caves ravine, and in one just to the side of the sphinx's head you could see a skull etched into the rock, I believe it was naturally there as I don't see how anyone could get up there to carve that in there...







I took this pic trying to capture the light streaming down into the bottom of the cave, it turned out to be our favorite of the entire trip...beautiful huh?






According to the historical markers, there are approx 13 different species of ferns that grow in the caves, this was one of them, though it was cool, it was paper thin and grew like lace all over the rocks...no clue what its called:





the big rock at the bottom of the cave...we took pics of each other ;) talk about feeling small in the hands of God,...there were many opportunities during this trip to feel that way, hence the reason i personally loved it so much.




Next we hiked to Cedar Falls....sadly because it was the end of August the falls were more like a trickle, but the path to get there was rugged and a big challenge at times, we LOVED it. It was 2 miles there and 2 miles back no including old mans cave which was 1/2mile each way and we hiked it twice, so at the end of the day we had done a total of 5 miles. That indoor hottub was a huge plus by the end of this day...









the falls...

this guy was sitting up on a rock as we climbed out of the falls to find a bathroom...





The next day we ventured to the Rock house, and what we found was this massive rock house with a big cave covered by tons of greenery. The cave apparently has been visited for over a century as there were names carved into the rocks in many areas, again this bugged me a lot, until we saw a few that were dated back to the 1890's, it made me realize that this has been a tourist area for a really long time.






















Later that afternoon we ventured to Conkles Hallow. Ask me where the pictures of that are? I'll tell you they aren't anywhere on *my* camera as I was pretty set on using my hands to hold onto anything I could so as not to perish lol! CH is this huge gorge that has a trail around the upper rim which is approx. 200 (yes thats two hundred) feet up. Its breathtaking , however could become treacherous if one were not careful. I didn't stop to get pictures and now I'm sorry I didn't, the hike is 1.5 around the top rim and it took us close to 2 hours because you can't go fast (its a lot of ups and downs, not a stright path, PLUS you have to keep your balance). Dean got one on his Droid of when we first got up there, I'll have to see about getting it and adding it for reference sake.

That was it for day 2's adventures. We did go out to dinner that night to this great BBQ place, forget the name off hand but there was a biker rally there that night, they were busy but the food was outstanding.

Wednesday morning it was time to pack up and head home. It was really hard to leave. I missed the kids but a big part of me wanted to just go get them and bring them back with uis and stay forever <3 this place was like heaven to us, we loved it. That last morning was the only morning on the entire trip that we saw deer, one was in our yard in the morning as we packed, and as we headed up to the cantwell cliffs for one last morning of hiking we stopped along one of the 2 lane highways as 2 mama's and 2 babies crossed our path...the pic didn't come out great, the sunlight prevented it so this was the best shot that could be gotten:





Cantwell cliffs was a ton of fun, we only hiked half of it, and I do have pics of that but again they were on dean's phone as we didn't take the backpack that morning.
I'll try and add that section of it later.


We can't wait to go back, probably in the spring but we are taking the kids with us, they are so excited! They loved seeing the pictures and while we have hiked with them, we have never done it to this extent. Some of the stuff won't be appropriate for the little's so we will need to figure that one out as well. Can't wait to go back though, Thanks again to my friend Jo for suggesting this place, it felt like paradise for the soul <3