Getting over it, sort of.

I'm doing better in terms of the house issue. I have had days where I seriously felt like I couldn't cope another second, and then other days where I work at trying to just get over it and make do here. It's been soooo hard to do that. One of my biggest mental issues with making due is that I feel like my efforts will be wasted, (as will any $ i spend) on this place if we end up choosing to move on in the near future. It's tough. We are trying really hard to take our financial responsibilities seriously, even more so than in the past, so by investing more $ into this place knowing I won't stay here forever, really doesn't feel great.

I keep telling myself there is a reason I can't see right now and in the end I'll be thankful that it didn't work out *my* way. Thats always the way God seems to work it.

Anyway, for now I am spending a lot of time cleaning things out, and buying organizational items to help make the flow around here a little bit earlier. One thing I'm dreading though is Christmas around here. We do NOT have the room for any more toys. What little we do have really are a total nuisance and always in the way. So as not to dwell on how deeply this sucks, I'll suffice to say that the holidays for that reason alone will be a challenge. I've always been really good about purging before any major holiday, I'm not a clutter/junk person, but in this sitch, its getting ridiculously difficult to really keep it simple.

I wish there were easy answers here. And I wish we knew what direction to head in. For now, at least till spring...we stay. The only relief I have in that is I hate moving lol, so the bright side is I get to put that off for a little while at least.