Well 2 things actually.
1 is when people make a huge deal out of the size of my family. Granted...I know its not everyday in today's day and age that you see a young couple who has been married for nearly 17 years and has a very large family that shares the same mommy and daddy, I get that. What bothers me is the way people react when you tell them how many kids you have and make snide/rude comments, such as a few weeks ago while at a public function and it came out in conversation that I was a mom to 8 kids and someone nearby who didn't know me actually said out loud , and I kid you not... "WHY?!" with a puzzled look on their face. It's not so much the tone of voice as it was the question in general and the flippancy in regards to the fact of my children's lives. It might not have been meant as personal but it was taken as such. WHY I have 8 kids isn't really anyone's business to be honest, however if they or anyone must know ...we have eight kids because of the following reasons.
1. we believe they are blessings
2. we believe that life is sacred and beautiful
3. we fell in love with our first one and it snowballed from there
4. we prayed for God to tell us when we reached the number HE wanted for us
5. we tried to use NFP and we sucked at it
6. kids are amazing and if time/money/energy were of no consequence, we would have kept going
7. overpopulation is a lie
8. somedays I don't believe any of the above 7 bulleted items, but I love them and cherish each of them none the less and believe that regardless of how I feel they were meant to be here.
The 2nd thing that seriously irritates me is when people feel the need to remind me that I CHOOSE to have a large family.
Ex: JP's preschool teacher who reminded me that I should have thought about having a large family before I actually did it (in reference to me telling her I would not be able to participate in PRESCHOOL activities on a regular basis like they were asking me too because ....i have 7 other kids, several of which are older and involved in more important things than PRESCHOOL activities, 1 of which has major special needs, another which has ADHD and requires constant school contact, 1 of which at the time was a nursing newborn, another of which was a homeschooled teenager, also my husband works anywhere from 60-90 hours per week and I literally do it all on my own. Yeah, as you can see I don't sit in my lounge chair and read books all day.)
This morning was another example. The city in which I live in allows only 3 cans of trash each week per house. When i called to ask them to give us ONE extra can I was told the only option I have is to BUY bag tags to the tune of $1.50 each extra and attach them to each extra bag we have. The best part is, I have to try and find the time to drive to city hall, park my min church bus, pay the marking meter and go purchase these tags. I told her it wasn't so much the extra $ but the fact that they make it seriously inconvenient to get them. I asked if there was someway they could just bill me LOL CC, payment in advance or whatever via the phone and was told no, this is the only way. I said that's ridiculous that this is what my tax $ as a homeowner gets me and to that she replied "well it was your choice to have a large family"
huh, nice. Prime example # 2 of why I hate dealing with people in general. The ignorance just screams at me through a comment like this. I could write a book on the stupid comments I hear all the time over the life we live.
In defense against my hatred lol, I will say that on occasion I meet someone who has nothing but sweet kind loving words of awe and or thankfulness over the sacrifice Dean and I (and other families like us) make to raise a large group of children. God forbid we actually populate the earth with good , beautiful well rounded loving citizens who will grow up to pay the idiots above social security, but ya know....that was MY CHOICE to contribute to their future retirement/benefits. How dare I?! :P
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2 comments:
Wow?! Seriously, some people are just complete morons! I shouldn't be shocked that people are actually that rude, but it always surprises me because I was not raised that way.
I have always admired how well you manage life with eight children. I have never once thought to myself, this is something she cannot handle, or that choosing to have a large family was a mistake for you.
For myself, I would never be able to have such a large family, but never do I find that a reason to be judgemental or rude when I see a large family. There are times when I look at my four and think WHAT was I thinking? but I never ever look at someone else and think WHAT were YOU thinking!?
For me I see that you have the joy of watching eight amazing cycles of firsts! Now that my youngest is four and realizing all those first four years will never come around again makes me sad. The blessings most certainly outweigh any of the challenges.
I applaud you and your choices. I always wish we lived in a world where people embraced diversity. Who cares if you have eight children? It's not like you call the city office when all eight have the flu and ask them to come help clean up the vomit, for goodness sakes, it's just a couple of trash cans!
There will always be ignorant, rude people in the world and with so many other dangerous choices people make, you would think having eight kids wouldn't even make them bat an eye. It isn't like you are making meth in the basement while your kids guard your house with shot guns. Seriously, sometimes I think the people who make those remarks are the people who really aren't brave enough to live a life that brings them joy, so they want to make it difficult for others to have their own joy. If all the wasted energy it takes to word vomit on people who aren't doing anything wrong with their life was put to more charitable and helpful causes, then perhaps the world would be a better place for every family (even those awful people who only have ONE kid! ;) )
I salute you and your baby making abilities! lol ;)
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