Decisions, decisions.

I probably ought not post this, as my thinking is my hubby will kill me for even saying it out loud LOL!

I can't help it though, i am so confused as to what we should do and would like some opinions, so here is your chance to share what you think (within reason of course lol ;) )

As you know we are no longer house hunting. 8 weeks ago that came to an abrupt halt when we found out there were stipulations to the loan we were getting which basically made it impossible to obtain at the time. We have since found out that we can still get said loan, however we have to spend a certain amount of $ (for 1) and 2 we have to wait until August. The first part is no problem as we would need to spend at least that to get the size house we need anyway thats in decent shape (able to pass VA basically) however the waiting until August part not so much.

For one we had already decided to add on a laundry room here and have spent every last penny we had in savings (minus a very small emergency fund amt) to get that accomplished. It will by far make this house more livable and easier to sell if and when that need ever arises. the problem is that while this address's one of the issues, it does not address the other 2 major issues.

Those 2 major issues are this....we need another bedroom AND another bathroom in order to live here long term. As it stands right now I have the 4 little kids in one of the big bedrooms together. This would be no big deal if they were all the same gender, however they are not. Right now seeing as the oldest is 6...we have maybe 2 years before this is a problem. The second issue, while major is slightly minor in the fact that we have only 1 bathroom for 10 people. I would go into why this is a major PITB but I'm guessing its fairly obvious right now? LOL!!

In short....we need these 2 things (minimum) OR....we need a bigger/different house.

I honestly could not tell you what we are supposed to do at this point. This has been a huge source of stress for Dean and I over the last 2 years as we have tried to figure out what to do.

Our options are buy a second house and move (like we had planned) OR, add onto this one. So far adding onto this one (which is my first choice because we would not have to move, nor would we have to take on a second mortgage. This is ideal in many many ways above the first option. While I'd like to sit here and only focus on the *positives* I can't tell you that there are any at this point. Not because I refuse to find them or I'm not looking but because there really are NOT any. We would love to stay here and add on but its impossible at this point because the banks we have spoken with refuse to loan any $ on home improvements right now thanks to values having dropped. This puts our family in a huge predicament. I spoke with one of those mortage payment lowering people on the phone yesterday and I told her what Dean's income was and she was like yeah....you don't qualify. I said ya know what, I get that but what i don't get is why family size isn't counted?? Lets face it, my hubby makes great money but we have way more expenses than the average family (namely groceries!). Anyways, before I get on THAT soap box LOL, it puts us to high to be helped and too low to be able to pay out of pocket for an addition (unless I save for like 5 or 6 years...and that's not going to cut it I'm afraid).

So in essence we are really baffled which direction to go in right now. I'm at peace with staying here for now, as is Dean but that peace is not long lived, especially with fall/winter approaching in 3 more months. I can't even tell you how cramped this house is with all my kids locked up in the house during the winter. It's maddening. I'd love to sit here and tell you that i smile through all of it but I refuse to act like everything is *ok* in order to keep face with people, kwim? i try really hard not to discuss our problems, as I know they pale in comparison to many others, however this is a big one for us right now. I don't know what to do, but feel the need to head in some sort of direction one way or the other.

Do we stay here and try to save the $ to add on? (this one is laughable honestly)
Do we buy a 2nd house and risk a little for a possible long term financial benefit, or on the flip side possible financial ruin??

option 3...is there one? LOL

I'd love to hear suggestions...i'm out of ideas.