Your joking , right?!

You'll have to excuse any major typo errors in this post, my laptop is in serious need of a new keyboard thanks to my 2 youngest babes ;) ah gotta love toddlers that pick keys off your laptop.

Anyway, my bedtime is drawing near as we speak so I only have a few to get down what I have to say. I have recently made a commitment to making sure I go to bed nlt 10pm because staying up later is not conducive to workouts in the wee morning hours....and if I want to drop these last few lbs, something's gotta give, namely my staying up late.

So in a nutshell this week we recieved some news. Normally in light of the past 5 months this would be great news, however I find myself even more confused now than I have ever been in my life I think.

Our mortgage guy called yesterday to tell us that we are back on again for the loan approval, with one catch....we have to wait until August. I won't go into why except to say apparently you can bankrupt the govt. if you plan to spend a lot of $ upon gaining your next loan ;) true story...

So in light of this news as I said above confusion is without a doubt raining in this house like there is no tomorrow. We had resolved over the last 2 weeks (in between the weeping, heart wrenching and overall depressive nature of our life mind you) that we were staying in this house a minimum of 2-3 years in order to #1 pay down the loan and hopefully see a market rebound and B do some improvements to make the house more livable and better for resale down the line if that day ever came. This was of course after speaking with another bank loan officer who told us we can't even get a loan for putting on an addition...not because we don't qualify but because it would never appraise after the fact. You have no idea how bad it sucks to not only need a bigger house but to be able to actually afford having so much more only to be stopped at every angel. I guess you could say that we felt this was the *answer* we had been asking God for all along, as difficult as that was to swallow.

So much has gone throug my head over the last few weeks...the why's, the what next...even trying to figure out how to pay out of pocket for the extensive updates to this house and fixing our lives to gear up for that.

I even went to far as to realize that honestly...i wish we could stay here for a lot of reasons. I love our neighborhood. When we first moved here there were a few neighbors that were down right awful...they are now gone. We do have some rif raf in the general area but not directly on our block (and hello what city/street in the world doesn't kwim??). We have friends here, ...and while that is no substitute for family its still kind of reassuring. I know there are at least 2 dozen sets of eyes watching out for my kids on any given day here, that holds some level of comfort. Also, this house would be hard to walk away from from the sheer fact that 2 of my babies were born right here in the kitchen. granted...not really a reason to stay in a house too small (and lets face it this house is WAY too small for our gang), i guess it was just one of those things that crossed my mind while *making peace* wit staying here the last 3 weeks.

I must say that above all I'm just shaking my head trying to figure out what the heck is going on around here lol. We were adding on and staying...then we got approved and house hunted, losing 3 houses and countless hours of time before being told NOPE sorry, now your not. And now 3 weeks later after we have had 3 contractors out for mud room bids, and dropped over $500. on landscape for the front of the house (and its still not done LOl) we find out we can still get one in 3 months???

What am I missing here?!!!???????

I'm frustrated beyond belief with everything right now. I don't get it and I don't know that I care to get it, period. This is a walk of faith without a doubt because we are seriously in the dark and there are landmines at every turn. I am so over house hunting...no way I'll consider it come August I can tell you that right now....that would put us moving before xmas, um.................no,thankyouverymuch.


So with that said, we are moving ahead with making a mud/laundry room out back , the landscape is nearly done (waiting for the temp to come up before I buy my precious plants :) ), and if we have $ left after that we are fixing up the attic space for the big kids' new hang out. We also plan to buy bits and peices of the kitchen cabinets as we go along and eventually probably come feb or march of next year latest we will redo the kitchen. I CANNOT WAIT. We will also most likely put in a second bathroom off the mudroom as long as its possible (and I am pretty sure it is). THEN...we might see what the market is like and THEN sell this and move. I dunno, maybe lol.

I'm over it.

I haven't been online much at all lately because of all my spring projects. I have window trim still left to paint (again waiting on warmer weather) and one more coat on my door surround, then a trip to Ikea is in order with my enthusiastic SIL, can't wait!! My LR furniture will be picked up this weekend and then i can work on some indoor projects, it should all be done soon then we can relax and enjoy the summer with the kids. The littles are all taking swim lessons this year....and peanut turns 6, so hard to believe!!